An older child's jealousy toward a new sibling is a completely normal reaction, not a sign of bad parenting or selfishness — suddenly their parents' attention is shared with someone new who takes up a large part of it.
How Jealousy Shows Up
It can appear as behavioral regression (asking for diapers or nursing they'd outgrown), mild aggression toward the baby, or an exaggerated need for attention. These are temporary reactions that fade once the child feels secure again.
How to Handle It
Set aside a short daily slot for your older child alone, even just ten minutes of fully attentive play. Involve them in caring for the baby with simple age-appropriate tasks (fetching a diaper, singing to them), and genuinely praise their help.
- Don't force them to love the baby right away or punish jealous feelings — acknowledge their emotions first.
- Talk about the new baby's arrival well before the birth so they have time to emotionally prepare.
- Make sure relatives visit and bring something for them too, not just the new baby.
- If physical aggression toward the baby continues, don't leave them alone unsupervised until this phase settles.
