If you've found your toddler throwing themselves on the floor in the middle of a store, screaming because you wouldn't buy a toy, know that you're not alone — tantrums are one of the most common experiences mothers have with their children at this exact age, roughly between eighteen months and three years.
Why does your toddler get so upset?
At this age, your child is going through rapid emotional development, but the part of their brain responsible for regulating and putting feelings into words is still developing. The result is that they feel very intense emotions — frustration, anger, disappointment — without yet having the language to express them calmly, so it comes out as screaming, crying, and sometimes throwing things.
This isn't "bad parenting" or a "spoiled child" — it's a normal developmental stage nearly every child goes through, and it gradually fades as their language and self-regulation skills grow.
How do you handle it in the moment?
- Stay calm yourself first — your steady voice amid their storm helps them settle faster than matching their volume.
- Don't try to reason with them mid-tantrum; they genuinely can't listen in that moment. Wait until the storm passes a little.
- Name their feeling in a calm voice: "I know you're upset because you want the toy" — this helps them later connect words to emotions.
- If they're somewhere safe, give them a little space without leaving them completely alone.
- Stick with a reasonable decision you've already made — giving in mid-tantrum teaches them that screaming is an effective way to get what they want.
Once they've calmed down, hug them and talk simply about what happened. Over time, as their vocabulary and ability to name their feelings grow, these tantrums will gradually ease. Remember — your patience with them now is what teaches them how to manage strong emotions later in life.
